Freedom and responsibility in sex

The dating culture has changed so much within past few years - but have we? Have we REALLY changed or are we just forced to bend and blend in to what seems to be happening all around us?

It’s 2019 and women still preach for the freedom to act like men - and have acts like men. I agree that the double standards should be crushed once and for all and that it is an important topic - and should be loud. We as women do have the equal right to have as many sexual partners as we want and as often as we choose (if possible). But do I think we all should? Actually, no.

I can promise you that while we praise for the limitless freedom to have sex it has an effect on us. To our thoughts and behaviour, and it’s not all for the better. As it’s promoted to be cool, fun and just care free, but not all people understand that with freedom comes responsibility.

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It is not just care free, no matter if you give yourself away very freely and willingly. We leave pieces of ourselves to the people we spend time with, deal with, and have sex with. This is not about being fragile but being a human.

Nevertheless there are still so many people who are really and truly looking for acceptance trough sexual behaviour, flirtatious behaviour and sexual act. And if you are, you then hand out the power to others to define your worth, time after time. I want you to realize that your self worth CAN NOT BE DETERMINED by others and it especially has nothing to do with the way you look or how you are “in bed”. Your self worth is not something that some man or woman who happens to stop by in your life or in your bedroom can define you, show you or give to you. It is something that has to be in you.

So while we live more freely we should also protect ourselves more. Protect our self worth, core, mind and body. The entirety that makes us, the entirety that is us.

You can’t control how other people think or act, but you can teach people how to treat You. You set your own boundaries and limits, and you define what is appropiate for you and what is not. I truly hope you won’t feel the pressure to bend just because so many others do so. I hope you have the strenght to speak up and say no to disrespectful behaviour from day one - whatever that disrespecful behaviour means to You, as we all have different takes on it.

Me, I still belive in the power of getting to know one another, connecting to the other, and building a mutual respect for another. I’m an old sould with modern twist, and am happy to have values like this as they are mine to have, mine to hold on to - no matter if it’s annoying to some people (or the men who’d like to bed me immediately).

But if you favor the more free and light take on sex do make sure to be responsible. Treat people right and with respect. You wouldn’t believe how many people feel unworthy, unwanted and honestly broken after having a sexual experience. Make sure you leave your partners better than the rest of them.

Peace out and rock on! / Eeva


PHOTOS: @sonjakaarinaa

EDITS: @eevaroots