Only a few weeks back I hit rock bottom. I experienced something that felt no less than like someone close to me was dying. Because someone was; my greatest dream and a huge part of myself with it.
In this past month a lot of things has happened. I’ve been forced to face one of my deepest fears and accept my own helplessness in front of that situation. Something in me broke in a way I felt would change my whole being forever from that moment on. After a lot of crying and screaming I felt numb. After all that fighting for my dreams, my life and my future. All that fighting to be who I am, I was about to be left with nothing but a dream I would not be going to achieve.
Then something happened. Something that really needed to happen, no sooner and no later than on that moment I had almost fully accepted I was going to lose everything I had build.
I had a long and honest talk with my close friends. They asked me all of the right questions. They asked the same questions again and again until I answered what I truly thought and felt, with no barriers and no defence. I broke down but felt safe surrounded by my close ones, and exactly by those ones who motherfukkin’ believe in me with every inch of their bodies.
That talk came from a place of pure love, respect and believe and that was all new to me. No one in my life has ever fought for me in the same way and to be honest, so many people in my life has left in a moment of my weakness. That is what I’ve grown to see and live, so to be in that moment with those friends who were determined to not just to stay here for me but to help me not to give up on myself, was a magical moment to experience.
When I woke up the next day everything had changed for me. EVERYTHING. I felt purified, loved, valued. I now knew I coulnd’t ever give up on my dream and I knew I wasn’t the only one believing in me anymore. My mind was set not only to survive this period of my life but to start winning. I now know that this was the moment that changed me forever.
This was a week ago and things have already started to change for me.
People like to say and make it seem it’s all easy. “Just get up and get shit done.” “Just hustle.” “Just get the things you need.” “No excuses.”
Me, I’m a true believer there’s a solution to anything and everything, but easy? Hell no. Not to all of us. We need to be more honest about that and stop painting those perfect pictures about our lives and careers. The people watching will start to think there’s something wrong with them when they don’t feel like it’s easy to them. That is one of the reasons I feel it’s important for me to be here. To tell my story from a point of view that contains real life struggles, doubts, misfortune and missteps. From a point of where the heart breaks when something really bad happens but that you can survive it.
I have no idea how my story will fold out but I’m damn sure gonna be honest about it all.
I need you to know that there is a solution for everything and anything. Search it from within you, ask for help if you need to, be honest, be creative, be open to alternative routes, search for information. Turn every single stone and when you can’t find them no more, walk further. Go to where you’ve never gone before. Whatever you do don’t shut down and don’t give up on your dreams if you truly know you are meant to fulfill your potential.