Circle of support

I'm a deep thinker and care a lot about relationships, whether they are personal ones, work related or even the ones I don't have any part with myself. Pondering about situations and people's behavior just comes very naturally for me, as the most important thing for me is inner growth and generally coping in life trough this growth. And what could possibly teach you more than interaction with and between other people?

There's this one thing that has been on my mind lately and it is support.

When you are hoping, seeking or expecting support towards your work, art, passion or simply towards you as a person, you will face moments when you have to realize that you're just not getting any. It's a shame and can feel really bad, trust me, I know.

Support isn't something you can demand and support isn't something that comes easily to many. There are as many ways to show support as there are people in this world, but the worst kind is the total lack of the it. Why it can feel bad is especially at those times when you see lack of support from those who you, yourself, are supporting and would likely expect to get some of it back.

I have recently realized something that helps me when I feel letdown in these situations and I hope this makes you feel better too.

I have generated an idea of a "CIRCLE OF SUPPORT", and here's how it goes in a nutshell.

There's 3 rings in your circle.

  1. First comes your family, closest friends and a partner.
  2. In the second ring you'll find your other friends, the people you have gone to school with, worked with in the past, and the ones who are more like acquaintances.
  3. In the third and furthest ring there are those newest acquaintances, your latest co-workers, some clients and other people you have cooperated with, maybe some fans and also random people who are still strangers to you.

The people who are in your nearest ring should absolutely without a doubt support you. And if not, I don't think they have the right to be in your innermost ring in the first place and that is something for you to think about.

So that's a no brainer but here comes the tricky part. In order to get the second ring involved you have to get the third and outermost one's support. So before the people who are kind of close to you, the people you know and have known for a while, start showing you support, the movement actually starts from those who are the farther familiar ones and stangers.

If you think about this from a personal point of view, as a relationship of a two people, it can feel very disappointing. But if you think about people as a herd, as a pack, you quickly realize that people most likely do what others are doing.

So my advice to you is not to take it too pesonally. If you are hoping to receive support just skip the second ring and focus on your close ones, and if you are good enough, the third ring will take action, and that will finally start the movement.

And what you should remember is this: Don't get mad when people aren't supporting you. Half of them can't even support themselves.

Feed the fire! / Eeva